“Today I want you to think about all that you are instead of all that you are not”- Unknwon” ~Unknown
If you are a sensitive person like me, you might think, being sensitive is problematic especially
to love and relationship.
Maybe you have been called too sensitive by your partner or your parent. Maybe you are overly emotional about something which don’t bother your parent or spouse, or maybe you get cranky
too often, or you want to be alone more rather than with your friend or family.
If so, you might be consider to be too sensitive.
Now, sensitivity can cause problems in our relationship. I know this too well. I was a very sensitive person and I didn’t know how to handle my sensitivity. That is why I got divorce in my first married.
But I like to flip that perception, because sensitivity is always misunderstood and completely undervalued. Particularly when it comes to marriage and intimate relationship.
Most women love their partner to give more attention to them. I remember i always wanted my first
husband to be deeper with me, gave me more attention, empathetic, and a connections with his feeling to me. These are the problems of a sensitive person.
Sensitive is defined as: attuned to, aware of subtleties, caring, sympathetic ,empathetic, compassionate, understanding, perceptive, mindful of, responsive to, alive to…
We want more sensitivity in our relationship. It is an asset in love
When we have done our own work to develop the best aspects and manage the challenging parts of the trait, we gain access to what we need to have the depth connection, understanding, love, and passion more with our partner.
There are other unhealthy way that our trait can be expressed. Ways that can give more harm and fight than harmony and love in relationship. These negative sides ( like being overly sensitive) are expressed when we don’t know how to do with our sensitivity.
When we shut off our sensitivity, we feel ashamed, we become more negative.
When we are struggle with ourselves like this, we have to open up our hearts to others. because
when we are at war with ourselves, we tend to take things personally and feel gripped by negativity
and inner turmoil.
I know this because I judge myself for my sensitivity in the past. I am hiding my light under self-judgment and anger at myself. That anger poked out and spilled over onto my husband,
hurting our marriage and makes us feeling miserable with each other.
It takes time to understand the brilliance of your sensitivity. You are naturally smart, so go to
your own thoughts and heart to have your answer. Here are some hints from my experience and
ponderings to get you going :
I hope that your capability to feel a big feeling be the deepest, most sustainable source of love for your relationship, carrying your partner in its tide.
I hope that the moments you find yourself, you are flooded with overwhelming feeling in
your relationship. I hope your natural tendency to see little things in yourself and other as flaws or your partner’s issues can be diagnosed and healed together.
I hope that your people-pleasing tendency and over concern about your partner and others in your life are not upset be the compassion and conscientiousness we want to have and thrive as a species? The important thing that inspire people to be kind and caring to other people- however
You should do this to yourself first.